We hate baths! We were promised it wouldn’t be another year before our nexted bath, and we’re making Mommy stick to it – a whole ‘nother year before we get another one. (Mommy Note: That was promised last June, so the year is almost up. Still, in their minds – selective thought – it will always be a year away from today – EVERY today. I’m getting that blank, “your point?” look from the two brothers, who are impatiently waiting for me to stop writing so they can tell their scathing story.)

Scathing? Maybe. (We don’t know what that means, so we can’t say.) Story?! Oh, no! This is quite real.

Well, apparently, Mommy just can’t help but give baths, and she was unusually cruel. (Mommy Note again: I’ve run out of teddy bear cleaner, and these stuffies have had this done before with no terrible consequences.)

Again – we don’t know what con-sa-quens-sis means, but it sure was terrible! Mommy gathereded all our neighbor-stuffies/distant family together (Grover, Dino – the Jersey Devil, Philly Phanatic, Tigger, and Raggedy Ann, although she’s both a stuffy and doll) and batheded them in the clothes washer!!!!! (Mommy Note again: I used the gentle cycle, only used the two-minute wash cycle with no extra rinse, and planned to let them air dry, so they didn’t have to face the dryer, too. How would you wash a two and a half foot Raggedy Ann – all by herself? She’s 30 years old!)

It was terrible! Raggedy Ann’s legs fell apart and there was stuffing everywhere! (Mommy Note again: The striped part of her legs, must have rotted. She’s 30 years old!)

AND, Mommy couldn’t fix her right away, a’cuz she has to dry out! How would you feel seeing your inners hanging out while YOU dry out? (Mommy Note again: I ordered some new fabric to match the red and white stripes on her leg, that’s actually called “Raggedy Ann red and white fabric.” She’ll be OK.)

At least she had her wet family with her – Grover, Tigger and all! We went downstairs to visit her, and she was sadly singing, “I Fall to Pieces.” We had to cry with her. It was terrible. And yet, when Daddy and Mommy heard her singing that sad song, they laughed! (Mommy Note again: Oh, come on! It was funny!) They laughed! Stuffies simply should NEVER get ANY baths EVERY! It’s just too dangerous!

(Mommy Note again: Fortunately, I bought some socks a while ago that must have been mislabeled, because no grown woman could ever fit in them. Once Raggedy Ann finally dried, I rearranged her legs to go back to their normal shape, and stuffed them into the socks, while her family sat next to her to make sure I was taking good care of her. The socks were just the right size, so she doesn’t have to look at the falling apart legs, while I wait for the fabric to come in. Once it comes in, I’ll sew the bottom half of her legs again, and then re-stuff them, so she’ll be as good as new. She’ll be fine, and no one will ever be washed in the clothes washer again. I really do feel terrible doing that to her, but I’m glad the repairs I made on Tigger’s mouth a couple of years ago, held up during the wash. I must be getting better at sowing, if all the repairs on my stuffed animals are holding up so well.)